Week of 14 Janvier, 2024
Dimanche
Today we received a text we've been crossing our fingers for: Our cat has been spotted back home! He was captured on Todd’s brother’s security camera early this morning, looking perfectly healthy and a bit cheeky for evading their attempts to capture him.
Leaving our cat and dog behind was a very difficult decision. We love them dearly, but ultimately we decided that the stress of moving abroad and living in a small apartment would be too much for them if this is only a short-term move. We are so fortunate to have family members who offered to care for both pets while we’re away, and we’re comforted by knowing they’re receiving lots of love in our absence.
It was a chilly, cloudy Sunday with a little too much screen time, but sometimes that’s what we all need, isn’t it? With Oli watching Percy Jackson beside me on the couch and Todd napping, I spent the majority of the day planning much-anticipated visits from my sister (including a girl’s trip to Paris) and my in-laws (including a week in Spain for Todd’s 40th). A lot of people have promised visits, and I’ll be interested to see how many of them follow through!
The view from our bedroom. Can you see the ferris wheel?
Lundi
It occurred to me today that I have hardly spoken English with anyone besides my immediate family since moving to France. I haven’t heard nearly the number of English speakers in Bordeaux as we have in the more touristy summer season. The few times I have overheard Americans speaking, I’ve felt this desperate, silly urge to ask them if we can hang out. I guess it’s the friendly American in me.
A lot of expats put their kids into international school, which gives them immediate access to the local expat community. I was pulling for that, but there were no spots open in Bordeaux’s international school, and Oli actually said he preferred starting in the French school because he has a friend there. He really seems to like it, but at the moment I’m wishing we’d given ourselves more of a soft landing.
Making friends in a new place is always hard, especially as an introverted adult — and especially when it’s a foreign country! It requires effort, and I just haven’t had much energy for that. I’ve pretty much been in survival mode, constantly working just to stay afloat. I suspect it may be time soon to start taking that dreaded step toward (gasp!) making friends in France.
I don’t want to be that expat who only hangs out with other expats, but also… I really want to speak English with someone. Meet someone who is going through/has gone through this same crazy experience of moving and living abroad. Rant about American politics with someone who is also fired up about it (and relieved to have some distance at the moment).
Mardi
I knew that January would be difficult. It always is, even when I’m comfortably ensconced in my American home with all of its familiar comforts. But now that the Christmas lights have come down and the cold, wet, gray days have set in in Bordeaux, my old friend Seasonal Affective Disorder (Trouble Affectif Saisonnier) has arrived in full force. I’ve been feeling really tired, lonely, and a little lost over the last few days, with a ball of anxiety in my chest that grows heavier by the day.
It’s funny how Todd and I are handling all of this change so differently. He is thriving, confidently biking Oli to and from school multiple times a day, while every ride nearly gives me a panic attack. He’s having coffee dates and getting to know other parents at school while I’m still sitting at home in my PJs. His French is worse than mine, but he jumps right into conversations without embarrassment, and I can tell he is energized by the interactions that seem to sap every ounce of my energy. I’m envious of his ability to handle all of this so well, and hopeful that I’ll find my stride soon. I just suspect it’ll take a little longer for me.
For now, I’m doing what I always do to get through January. I’m making soup. Watching The Office reruns before bed. Trying to keep my eyes open to the beauty around me. And looking ahead — just thinking about warmer, sunnier days makes me feel a little bit better.
Oliver's favorite place in Bordeaux: the Chartrons skatepark
Mercredi
One of the things I miss the most about home is our neighbors. In Richmond, we lived on a block with a ton of families, and if Oli felt like playing, all he had to do was run out the front door. I know he misses his neighborhood pals, and I do, too. There are no front porches here, no friendly neighbors popping by to say hello. I suspect this has more to do with the fact that we’re in an apartment in the center of the city than the fact that we’re in France, but maybe it’s both.
That said, we’re slowly figuring out how to build a community here. Oli has become good friends with a girl from his class, and she spent most of the day with us, scootering around the city. He’s also starting to talk about more kids from his class, and he received his first birthday party invitation. When it gets warmer, I’ve heard that many families hang out in the square after school, enjoying a drink while the kids run around. I even have a few coffee dates scheduled with some expats in our neighborhood that I connected with over an article I’m writing. All this newness stresses me out, but I’m also excited about it.
False spring in the Jardin Public
Jeudi
It’s one of the rainiest days we’ve had in Bordeaux so far, with fat water droplets dripping down the windows of our apartment. Usually we see just a light drizzle, off and on, but today was a full-on bring-an-umbrella, dodge-the-puddles kind of day. Still, it was just warm enough for Todd and I to decide to take a walk after he dropped Oli off at school.
We donned our rain gear and strolled up our street, past the ruins of the second-century Roman amphitheater that never fails to blow my mind. A few blocks later, we passed through the gates of the Jardin Public, where we did a loop around the perimeter, appreciating a patch of blooming daffodils and massive ferns that felt completely out of place in January. Then we walked a few more blocks over to the Chartrons, a village-like neighborhood that’s home to one of our favorite cafes. We found a dry table under the awning and sipped our coffees, and when I tucked into my ham and cheese croissant with a knife and fork, I felt quite French. It really was a beautiful scene, with the cobblestone streets glistening in the rain and elderly couples ambling by under their parapluies (another favorite French word).
And the smell — it’s been too long since I just took a moment to appreciate the smell of this place. I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s the river and the bakeries, the florist stands overflowing with spring flowers and the old limestone buildings in the rain. And also that woman sitting beside us billowing clouds of cigarette smoke. (Thankfully, she left soon after finishing her expresso… and yes, that’s what the French call an espresso.)
Regarding cigarettes: I have actually been shocked to notice a lot more French people using vapes since we arrived, and a lot fewer smokers. Have Frenchies finally gotten the memo that smoking is bad for you? How long until they also realize vapes aren't much better?
A 5€ mimosa bouquet to brighten up a frigid day
Vendredi
Today the clouds cleared for the first time in days (weeks?), and we were treated to a brilliant blue-sky day. I was feeling under the weather, so I spent most of it in bed, but I enjoyed it from our bedroom windows. It’s amazing what a little Vitamin D can do for your mood. Todd also brought home a bouquet of bright yellow mimosa flowers, which are like bringing the sunshine inside. They’re all over French florist shops now, and I smile every time I see them.
Todd thankfully handled all six school drop-offs and pickups today, which he pretty much has down to a science. We bought an e-bike last week (thank you, Soldes) and equipped it with a comfy seat for Oli, and Todd has found the easiest route that gets him to the school in under 10 minutes. He says he really doesn’t mind the commute, but I do hope Oli will agree to stay for lunch at school eventually. I suspect that’ll happen sooner rather than later, because today after school, he told us that he can’t wait to go back to school Monday. My heart nearly burst!
Tonight we finally visited the circus Arlette Grusse, whose massive tents we pass on the tram almost daily. I wasn’t sure what to expect of a French circus, but it turned out to be a really impressive, enthralling production. The only thing more fun than watching the performances was seeing the reactions of Oli and his amie. They were in absolute awe.
Samedi
Saturday mornings have become our time to faire le ménage, i.e. clean the apartment. It doesn’t take long, as our home is fairly compact at around 600 square feet. I’ve been surprised at how spacious it feels, really quite fitting for us — there’s a main area containing living space, dining space, and kitchen; two bedrooms with en-suite bathrooms; and one toilette with a laundry closet. The super-high ceilings, big windows, and lots of storage help to make it feel more roomy.
It’s funny to compare this to our home in Richmond, which is three times the size (and our house before that was close to 3000 square feet!). It took much, much longer to deep-clean those spaces, but here it only takes about an hour to knock out our to-do list: Scrub the bathrooms and kitchen, put things away, vacuum, strip the sheets and make the beds, take out the trash and recycling. By the time we’re done, we’re left with a sparkling clean apartment, and I’m feeling quite content with living in this cute, cozy home.