I've written plenty about what I love about our life in France — it's been filled with so many experiences we simply couldn’t have back home. But as much as we love the fresh pastries, pedestrian lifestyle, and the sheer beauty of this country, there are quite a few things I’ve been missing about our life back home in Richmond, Virginia. Here are a few of them.
Our family (including pets!). Of course, this is the thing that every expat misses. We’re no exception! Our family was a big part of our day-to-day life in Richmond. Not seeing them regularly has been tough — especially missing out on our young niece’s growth from a baby to a toddler. I can’t wait to hug every single one of them when we get home. And we miss our dog and cat every day!
Our friends. We’ve been fortunate to make some friends here in France. But as fun as it can be to make new friends (OK, and also really challenging as an introvert), there’s really no comparison with the friends that we’ve known for years back home. There’s a shared history there that’s impossible to replicate here. It was also much easier to hang out with friends in Richmond. Sometimes it was as simple as sitting on our front porch and seeing who walked by. Sometimes it would be a neighbor kid opening up our mail slot and asking if Oli wanted to play. Being sociable here takes a lot more effort, and I often just don't have the energy to make it happen.
Space. Life in the center of Bordeaux is tight! Our third-floor apartment is compact, the sidewalks are narrow, and restaurant tables are laughably small and crammed together. I’ve also found that many French people seem to have different views on personal space — I often feel like people are invading my bubble. Sometimes I just want SPACE! I miss my big (by European standards) house and kitchen, our three bathrooms, the wide sidewalks in our neighborhood. Spacious tables at restaurants and easy parking spaces and plenty of room to stretch out. It’s a lot harder to find that here, and I constantly feel like I’m in someone’s way.
Silence. It’s strange — even though French people can be very quiet, it can also be infuriatingly loud here in Bordeaux. This is especially problematic in the warmer months, when we open the windows for fresh air (and because we don’t have air conditioning). The sound of motorbikes, street sweepers, delivery trucks, and the local crazy guy screaming bounces between the buildings, making it so loud that we often can’t hear each other speak. At night, we sometimes hear neighbors partying or even just watching TV, because we are so close to them. And just this week, we had the pleasure of hearing a drunk guy vomiting under our bedroom window and then blasting EDM from his car until 3 a.m. This is such a stark contrast to Richmond, where, even though we lived in a city neighborhood on a busy street, there really wasn’t a lot of noise pollution. Besides the odd souped-up sports car driving by or drunk college kids stumbling home from the bars at night, we were rarely bothered by outside noises. And depending on the time of day, we might hear nothing more than the birds chirping in the trees.
Nature. I didn’t realize just how important green space is to me until we moved here. We’re lucky to have a tree in the courtyard across from our apartment that provides a rare glimpse of nature on our otherwise beige, limestone block. Occasionally, depending on the time of year, I can hear birds. But if I want to touch grass, I have to walk 10-15 minutes to the nearest park. Back home, it was a matter of simply walking out our back door into our little garden, where I could dig around in our raised beds, or just sit beneath the big magnolia tree watching the squirrels and listening to the birds. Or we could drive five minutes and be hiking through the woods beside the James River.
Speaking and Listening. I miss English — speaking it, hearing it, being surrounded by it. And I really miss being able to speak up if something bothers me (like if a drunk guy is vomiting beneath my bedroom window), to ask questions or defend myself. I often feel like I’m mute here, and that’s very frustrating when I have something to say.
Food. Of course, there’s some exceptional food here in France. But as deep as my love is for fresh baguettes and French butter, French cuisine is actually not my favorite, and we don’t eat it often. We’re lucky to have some diverse cuisine in Bordeaux, but what I crave is authentic (and cheap!) tacos, New York-style pizza, bagels, and breakfast biscuits. I miss weird craft beer and quality cocktails. I miss grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, and Publix, and the ingredients that I haven’t been able to find here, like good salsa (without sugar!), cilantro, and banana peppers.
The Library. Our local library was a weekly stop for Oli and me back home. It’s a big, modern facility where I loved browsing the new releases and bestsellers while he hung out in the children’s section, and we’d always return home loaded with stacks of books. Here, it’s so tough to find English books, and I mostly read on my Kindle, which I think is an inferior reading experience.
Efficient Laundry. We were lucky to find an apartment with a clothes dryer (they’re rare in France), but both the washer and dryer are incredibly slow. It takes an entire day to do one load of laundry! I miss our fast, efficient machines in the U.S., and knocking out four loads of laundry in a day.
Baseball. Is there anything more American than a baseball game? I miss our town’s minor league team and the crazy antics at the games, silly songs and hot dogs and ridiculously huge cups of local beer.
Virginia. I love France and all of its diverse landscapes, but Virginia is my home. It’s where I grew up and where I have lived for most of my life. There’s nothing like the Blue Ridge Mountains in the fall, the Eastern Shore in the summer, and our beautiful city of Richmond in full bloom in the spring. France will always be a special place for me, but Virginia has my heart.